We are so often difficult on ourselves. Society teaches us that we need to excel, be the best, do everything right. Our families have high expectations of us and we don’t want to let them down. We have expectations of ourselves, goals, and desires. There’s a lot of room there for failure, for not being the best, for not quite getting things right. This can lead to disappointment, frustration, and shame. These can lead to other problems, including anxiety and depression, which only exacerbates the issues, causing a spiral that feeds on itself until things get worse and worse.
We’re forgetting something, though – we’re only human beings. We can’t be perfect, we can’t get everything right all the time. There are going to be disappointments and failures in our lives, so how do we cope with them?
In these situations, compassion is extremely important – and compassion isn’t something we usually give ourselves. But we need to ensure our expectations of ourselves are realistic. That doesn’t mean we can’t have high expectations of ourselves – we should! Challenges and accomplishments are important for growth. It does mean, however, that when we don’t need to get down on ourselves, punish ourselves, or put ourselves down. We can take a little time to move passed whatever happened, mourn whatever happened, and get ready to move on and/or try again. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone else – be understanding and compassionate and recognize your humanity.
What does this have to do with spirituality? Well, as spiritual seekers, we tend to be more aware of our lessons and we tend to have higher expectations of ourselves. We expect ourselves to pass and achieve any lessons that are thrown our way. We need to recognize, though, that we aren’t going to achieve everything perfectly the first time around, and maybe not even the second time, either. So be good to yourself and treat yourself with kindness and gentleness. You’re human and bound to do human things, it’s all just part of life. Be kind to yourself.
