I’ll admit it – I saw somebody else do this first. Theirs was a lot more comprehensive and well organized, but it’s the inspiration that really counts.
Right now it’s 2am in the morning, January 1st, 2015. It’s REALLY cold outside and drizzly, and it’s snowing 1 hour north and 30 minutes south of me, but no snow here. Rob is snoring in the bedroom peacefully and the cats are enjoying having the office open late. Tonight we’re going to try leaving the office door open and not separating the cats. We’ll see how that goes. The fireworks have pretty much calmed down, so I’m starting to relax again. They still get me all twitchy, but not as bad as they used to.
I look over the website and wonder what has changed. I notice my first blog post wasn’t until May 2014. Why was that?
Right… the first major change I made this year was leaving WonderLand Publishing House to venture out on my own. That was huge and scary, but also exhilarating. It had become clear that our partnership was constraining everyone and preventing anything worth doing from getting done. From what I’ve seen of what Mike and Birdy are doing, it looks like they’re doing much better, too. Especially now that Birdy is out of the hospital. I’m so glad she’s okay!
I’m able, now, to provide the personal service that I really enjoy. As I’ve said before, I’m coming out of my Hermit period where I recover from being reborn and now I’m ready to connect with the world again. I want to reach out directly to people and connect with them and help them achieve some beneficial change in their lives. I want to tap into the raw emotion of the thing and ride the waves of frustration, anger, sadness, futility, hope, dreaming, joy, exuberance, and triumph! I want to witness the human story first hand and have some small part to play in it. That’s what I want to do and now I’m able to do that.
So I had my old posts from before I merged with WonderLand, and then the posts from after WonderLand, but all the posts during WonderLand stayed over there.
Is it any surprise that the first post I wrote after leaving WonderLand was about Tiger? Tiger as a totem is very powerful. They teach us how to exert our power with precision and efficiency, wasting little effort. As I said in that article, if you have 10 units of energy spend (or spoons), Tiger makes sure you only spend 3 units on a task instead of 4 or 5. That kind of power. Horsepower well maintained! I guess I was ready to harness my own power and start getting things done and making progress.
I also started connecting with new people. I met the AMAZING Heather Woodward and discovered her Business Bootcamp and Intuition Bootcamp and later her Psychic Society (that Christina Divine has taken over) and that just propelled me forward in astonishing ways! I learned that I AM a medium and I met one of my ancestors who brought me fortuitous messages saying that I’ll be able to break a cycle of poverty for my family and that future generations won’t have to overcome that to get where they’re going. AMAZING. I didn’t know I had it in me!
In addition, I met the inestimable Tricia Dycka. Her empathy had kicked in hardcore last December and she thought she was losing her mind. I invited her to join my Shamanic Coaching beta trial and we explored her empathy. I gave her a lot of tips and techniques which she has explored, experimented with, refined, and developed into so much more. She’s got a program now for empaths who are overwhelmed and it is phenomenal. I haven’t explored it fully, yet, but the parts I have explored I’ve enjoyed over and over again. AND she was the first person to interview me! That was a big milestone! And I’m doing another one with her on January 8th at 6:30pm Eastern Time. Join her Facebook group, Spiritual Freedom, for more details!
I did pretty good after that – I was blogging about every two weeks or so and that kept up for a couple months. But in July, my roommate moved in. That was quite an experience, most of which I won’t talk about. We parted on poor terms, but I wish her well and happiness and prosperity always and forever. But I lost myself while she was living with me. This website got pushed to the wayside, Educated Savage got pushed to the wayside, we started a new business, which didn’t get any traction, and I racked up more debt. We’re going to be okay, all I have to do is get things on track and we’ll be alright.
But I realized how important my PHYSICAL space is to me. As both an introvert and an empath (you can be one without the other), I am, apparently, EXTREMELY sensitive to changes in my environment. Rob and I have been together so long his energy doesn’t disturb me, but maybe part of the reason our relationship was so tumultuous at the beginning is because of this sanctity of space that I need. So now I will know to make sure that whatever is going on, I have my personal space to retreat into when necessary.
I was also gifted a Kindle right around my birthday and have been reading more. The gift of books is AMAZING! I love books so much, but my issues with my hands make it so that it’s hard to hold books for very long. But I’m able to hold the Kindle even when my hands are numb! I’m reading a MIND-BLOWING book right now by Amanda Palmer called The Art of Asking. I can feel some steel like apparatus’ grip around my heart slowly loosening. I don’t know where that’s going to lead, but so far it feels blissful. SO wonderful!
Interestingly enough, I blocked a lot of people on Facebook this year and Unfollowed several others. While that may sound petty, it’s actually good growth for me. I’m learning to let go of people and things in my life that are not contributing and that are, instead, causing damage. People who make unreasonable demands of me, who are always negative, who lash out and bully me. I don’t need that in my life. It takes up space that I could be devoting to caring for other people and doing my own growing. So that isn’t very cool. But learning to let go is very good and a very big step. I hope I continue making those steps in the future!
Looking back over all that stuff, 2014 was pretty huge for me. It’s amazing all that we’ve been through. And I know that 2015 is going to be huge, too. I’m so excited to see where it takes me!
One thing I decided to do this month was to seize every opportunity life throws at me, even if I don’t feel ready for it, and see where it takes me! I also started a Photo-a-Day challenge 14 days ago (why I didn’t wait for the New Year is beyond me) so you can keep up on that on my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook Page. I also am planning to make my fashion company (to be named still) take off – it’ll give me that crafty outlook! And on top of that, I’m reviving my web design and web site services – that seems to be a superpower of mine.
And lastly, I’ve chosen my word for this next year. It’s “Holistic” – I want to really analyze my life and make sure I’m being fully supported by everything that I’m doing. How I spend my time, how I make my money, what I do with my body, what I put into my body, what I’m studying, and who I’m associating with. All driving things towards CrowSong Lodge.
