Tarot Elements developed a spread to help us face our shadow selves and reintegrate it into the rest of ourselves. It’s a wonderful spread and can be used for self-healing and getting to know yourself. While they view the shadow self as the Jungian view, I have a different perspective.
A lot of people think of their shadow side as their lesser, sometimes “evil,” side of themselves. What I’m referring to here is that side of ourselves that we keep secret or hidden. For most people, this does include things like shame, resentment, fear, uncertainty, anger and doubts. But it also can play host to our hopes, dreams, aspirations, talents, skills, and secret desires. If you love to sing, but only do so when you’re alone in your car, then your self that sings is part of your shadow self, kept out of the light where everyone can see it.
We keep our shadow selves secret for a lot of reasons – mostly because we’ve been taught to because they’re ‘unbecoming’. Sometimes because we’ve been made to be ashamed of ourselves or would feel we were revealing a secret or a flaw. I know someone who writes beautiful poetry but keeps it secret from her family – they think writing is a waste of time.
Especially in the case of emotions like anger, jealousy, and sadness we’ve been taught to suppress them – no one ever taught most of us how to express these in a healthy way and so they can manifest themselves inappropriately – we might snap at someone close to us or sabotage our own goals and dreams. We live in a society where we’re not supposed to express our anger in any way and the people who do express their anger do so, mostly, inappropriately and are often viewed as being unreasonable, mean, and nasty.
When we face the shadow sides of ourselves we need to realize that it is a normal, healthy part of our being – without our shadow selves, we would be lessened as a human being; we would be incomplete. Emotions like anger and pain tell us when something in our environment isn’t healthy for us – they’re reminders to take care of ourselves and that might mean setting boundaries, standing up for ourselves, or changing our situation to something healthier.
The shadow self also refers to that part of the brain people refer to as the “lizard” or “reptile” brain. This is our amygdala – that part of our brain that is solely focused on our survival. It only wants the best for us, but a lot of times we don’t know how to interpret its messages in a healthy way and so we suppress, deny, or misplace its messages. We allow admiration and shame to combine into envy; hope and self doubt becomes depression.
Getting to know our shadow selves and listening to the messages it has to tell us can be invaluable to our healing process. As an example, I have trouble being in crowds of people. This is partially because I’m an empath but also partially because I don’t trust people. Obviously, somewhere in my past, someone must have betrayed my trust and I still haven’t healed from it. With the help of my guides and my shadow self, I’m learning to heal those old hurts that were never addressed.
