So, every so often I come upon something that really makes me think. In our Western culture we have several gender differences and I think this is one of the major ones.
You see, men are taught that they are valued based on their individual accomplishments. Not only that, but they are told that they can tell other people about their accomplishments and still be proud.
On the other hand, women are taught to value themselves based on how they compare to other women. This is in all areas of life. Whether they are a good wife, whether they are a good employee, or whether they are attractive all depends on the women around them. We are constantly determining what our value is by comparing ourselves to other people.
Unfortunately that means we can never be that great in our own minds. As you know, no matter what you’re talking about there’s going to be someone who is better than you and there is also going to be somebody worse than you.
This is especially true when it comes to our appearance.
The below picture illustrates this very well. It shows a group of women in a Victoria’s Secret ad and it shows a group of women in a Dove ad. I appreciate what it’s trying to accomplish, but what it does is separate us into two categories: are you the woman pictured in the Dove ad or are you one of the more slender women pictured in the Victoria’s Secret ad?
Somewhere out there is a woman cheering at the Dove ad and identifying with the women pictured there. Somewhere there is also a woman identifying with women and Victoria’s Secret asked but feeling put down because it’s clear this picture favors the women on bottom. And somewhere out there are women and girls who see themselves in the bottom frame and want to be in the top picture – and vice versa!
The following image went around probably a couple months ago at this point and it illustrates what I’m saying even more clearly.
These images create an “us versus them” mentality. It encourages women to compare themselves to other women in order to find their value.
As women it is up to us to teach ourselves, each other, and the young girls coming up behind us that they are not valued based on their appearance and that they can be good without comparing themselves to each other.
Women have a very powerful gift. If we band together, we can be an incredible, unbelievable, amazing, and unstoppable sisterhood. We can overcome anything if we stick together. We can change the world together. But we need to stop comparing ourselves to each other and we need to stop competing.
Love yourself; love your sisters.
