Just like books have covers, we have masks. Those masks are what we wear to convey to the people around us what we’re about. Whether we’re stern and serious, or if we’re child-like and playful. And how we’ve constructed our masks can determine how well we are treated. We have a lot of issues, though, over that communication.
What if we’re most comfortable with being child-like in behavior and wonder, but we’re also fiercely protective of the environment? How do we portray that in a mask? What if we love being feminine and beautiful, but we don’t want to be treated like a piece of meat or as an unthinking simpleton?
How can we express ourselves in such a way that we get the respect that we deserve? After all, we can’t control other peoples’ thoughts or reactions, we can only make suggestions through our own behaviors. And what those people decide to do is still entirely on them.
I read an article today about how a “journalist” was asking inappropriate questions of a sexual nature of young girls who were doing Lara Croft cosplay. Not in particularly sexual outfits – they were wearing tank tops, khakis, and combat boots. But still they’ve been approached in appropriately. Surely, that’s on the journalist who did that. These young girls can’t control how people will behave around them.
I have this issue, too, personally. I am a very laid back person, who respects all my fellow people as teachers on different roads. I can learn something from anyone. But somehow, I am rarely afforded any respect for the knowledge, wisdom, and skills that I DO have. People mistake my openness for ineptitude and what I have to say becomes easily dismissed.
It would seem simple to just do away with masks and say that we won’t use them anymore, except
1) how are we going to get everyone to agree to that!? and
2) we don’t have enough time to get to know everyone in sufficient depth to know exactly how we should act towards them – what behaviors they’ll find appealing or offensive or what they’re most comfortable with.
We used to have manners that bridged this gap – a common respect that we afforded to everyone – a set of behaviors that were considered polite and necessary. But with the passage of time and blending of cultures, at least, the some people seem to have neglected manners and decided that they can do anything they want. And the rest of us have enough manners that we don’t want to infringe upon their behavior – or maybe we’re just too afraid to draw attention to ourselves by saying something.
What to do? Continue to wear masks and hope they work? Step outside the box and try something new? Demand that the rest of the world be educated to our standards so they may be allowed to interact with us? It’s a pretty tough topic and I suspect that the answer is somewhere in the middle. A certain special blending of this and that, unique to each person.
Personally, I think that, except for particular circumstances, we SHOULD do away with our everyday masks and allow and invite the multitude of experiences that come with that. Invite people to get to know the complexity that is you by seeming more than 2-dimensional. But temper this with strong boundaries and practice standing up for ourselves because people WILL cross the line – a lot of them unknowingly – and this, too, needs to be communicated.
I would love to hear what you think!
