So, my mother told when I was growing up:
Who you most want to be is who you really are.
Crazy, right? If I was already who I wanted to be, then I would already have all the things I want and I’d be fulfilling my life’s purpose. But instead, I’m still on the road. I do things counter to what the person I want to be would do. I make different decisions, I make mistakes, and there are things that I’m ashamed of. My mom was known for saying crazy things, though.
But I revisited this statement a few times with her before she died and now, decades later, I think I finally get it, and I agree.
The person that you most want to be is the person that resonates the most with your soul – this is your true calling. The things that make you feel shame and embarrassment are the things you are doing that are counter to this ideal person, this true resonance of your soul.
When we do things that are in alignment with our values and goals, we feel good because we are acting in accordance with our souls.
Different people value different things. Someone may value courage the most, while someone else may value freedom the most and another values creativity. None of them are the ultimate truth – these are all good qualities. But those things that we most prefer are determined by our innermost souls – the people we were truly meant to be.
We’re human, though, and there are things that are going to get in the way – things that make it scary or painful for us to be that ideal person. Things like feelings of unworthiness, going against the crowd, and taking risk. It is by overcoming these obstacles that we are able to come into alignment with that true self of ours.
It is like the child who stands up for another child against a bully. It’s scary – there’s even physical risk involved. They may think and rethink and rethink it again before finally deciding to step forward. The fear is REALLY bad. But when they do, the bully backs down and the child feels good about themselves because they are in alignment with their true self.
Another thing they say is to “act as if” – “fake it till you make it.” This tells us that if we pretend to be who we really want to be, then we will bring actual selves into alignment with our true selves and we’ll be more fulfilled. That’s one way to overcome your fear and gather up your courage. But it works!
So, I say to you, embrace the real you. Acknowledge that that is who you truly are! You are the amazing wonderful person that you want to be! Be loving to yourself and revel in it and be true to yourself. And realize that those around you are going through their own personal struggles with this and forgive them their mistakes.
You can do this. And if you’d like a little help, I’m here for you.
